Return

Last week we returned to Hawaii as a family of four. We spent the last few months in Berkeley, California, where we traveled for the birth of our second daughter, Alia. 

It’s a long story, but our plan for a rural Hawaii home birth started to crumble for me as I entered my third trimester of pregnancy this August. We decided to embark on a birth tourism adventure. Berkeley was a return for us, as we both lived in the Bay Area in our 20s. Andrew’s parents live nearby and helped care for Juneberry around the time of the birth. At our first appointment with the midwife at the birth center in Berkeley, we were dismayed to learn that our baby was in a breech position. If she didn’t flip head-down within the next two weeks, I would need to undergo an intense hospital procedure where doctors would try to turn her manually. And if that didn’t work, a c-section was next. Cue a week of slant board inversions, handstands in a pool, chiropractic treatment, and acupuncture with moxibustion. And a few days before the possible cascade of hospital interventions, she flipped!

We missed Juneberry’s forest preschool, smoothies from the land, and the expansive sky in Hawaii, but it was a nice change of pace to be within walking distance to libraries, grocery stores, parks, and our birth center. Andrew teamed up with Juneberry, biking together to adventure playgrounds and rose gardens and beaches, rather than being pummeled into submission by the maintenance demanded by our land in the tropics. As for Juneberry, the questions never stopped. “Why it never rain here?”, “why we not have sidewalks like this in Hawaii,”  “how big the baby the ducklings gonna be when we get back,” and “when your body going to start having untractions (contractions).” For me, I smiled when I walked to the bathroom in the middle of the night, knowing there was no need for me to flick on the lights to check for poisonous centipedes crawling around. While we missed growing some of our own food, it’s hard to beat eating lots of fresh greens from Berkeley Bowl and Monterey Market without fear of rat lungworm. 

In Berkeley, we embraced the no-car lifestyle, especially Juneberry who got to cruise around with Andrew like this. We walked together to my prenatal appointments – a highlight was finding plump figs and lilikoi on sidewalk trees! We introduced Juneberry to the flora and fauna of these city streets – squirrels, wild turkeys, redwoods, oaks, gingko, and cedars. Whenever she discovered something she found particularly interesting she would say, “how can that be!?” – accompanied by wild arm gestures!

After a month living in our Berkeley apartment, I was feeling very pregnant. “Your belly sooo big,” Juneberry told me constantly. “Are you having twins!” shouted a woman on the street. We fully expected our little one to arrive by Halloween or soon after. My due date was October 28th and everyone told us that second babies generally come earlier than the first ones. Expectations are the root of suffering, aren’t they… The night sky on my due date held an auspicious full moon. Nope. Then Halloween came and passed. I was walking miles every day, going for acupuncture treatments, bouncing on the birth ball, doing all the things… “Baby sister so kicky!” Juneberry reported as she listened to my belly. 41 weeks came and passed. The next week we rode the emotional (and physical) rollercoaster of on-and-off early labor that wouldn’t progress. Finally, the night before I would have to be transferred to the hospital for a medicated induction, Alia (pronounced AH-lee-uh) arrived in a smooth and speedy waterbirth delivery. 

And as it turns out, having a newborn is easy compared to parenting a three-year-old. I’ve spent far less time googling how much newborns should be napping and sleeping than I did when Juneberry was this young. She enjoys napping on us just as much as her sister did – and I love it that way. 

It is a joy to see Juneberry’s transformation into a big sister. She was very enthusiastic but I worried how she would adapt when it came to sharing me with her sister. In the first weeks of Alia’s life, Juneberry was in awe of Alia and eager to help us with diaper changes (the only memorable meltdown was when I changed Alia’s diaper without asking for Juneberry’s assistance first). “I’m a good (a)ssistant,” she says with confidence. In the early days, she was always remarking “baby sister is soo tiny.” These days, it’s “baby sister is soo smiley!” Juneberry has grown to love bedtime with Andrew and most days accepts him readily into the realm that was formerly reserved for just me and her. She loves to hold her little sister and cuddle up next to her. She comforts her when she is crying by sprinting down the hall to retrieve a tiny stuffed animal to present to her. And she tells her stories about what life will be like for the two of them as sisters. “Why baby sister always saying ‘AH!’? 

Our close friends in the neighborhood welcomed us back to a very rainy Hakalau. We were also welcomed back by a car full of mold, a pantry full of moths (even inside the glass jars of bulk goods), an attic full of wasps and rats, 8 ducklings, and some very VERY tall grass (took a day or two for Andrew to confirm that the cows were indeed still out there!) Oh, and we have feral pigs again. It’s going to take some time to figure out priorities, find where the chickens are laying their eggs, and get these darn ducks to quit sleeping and pooping on our steps. 

On the bright side, we are still surrounded by edible abundance. Not from annuals in the garden – those got scratched up by rogue chickens or taken over by cane grass. But from the plants that could thrive in our absence. Citrus trees are at their peak of ripening. The tangerine tree growing out of the chicken coop has thousands of tangerines. 

I’ve been calling around shops in Hilo to see if anyone needs 100 pounds of lemons. No takers yet. We had fun harvesting them in the rain and washing them off in the baby pool with our neighbors.

Lilikoi vines are now climbing up papaya trees and over the fences we set up for them just before we left. So many heavy fruits are hidden throughout! Oh, and little fire ants…

The pigeon peas are also thriving. We planted a lot of them from seed last year because they are nitrogen-fixing and provide a great windbreak and sun protection for young trees. Now we see that they are also a favorite hangout spot for our chickens and ducks. One of the sweetest things about being back is watching Juneberry frolic around the yard tossing pigeon peas to the ducks. June loves to pick the peas off the thick shrubs, shell them and offer them to our ducks. When I look out our bedroom window there is almost always a duck jumping up to grab a pigeon pea seed pod in its beak! 

We have mixed feelings returning to Hawaii. Juneberry longed for bananas in Berkeley, but now she is longing for apples. “Why apples not grow here?” she asks daily. While we are uncertain about this being a forever home, we are certain that we want growing our food to be a big part of our kids’ lives. Now back to trying to dry cloth diapers on a laundry line in constant rain…